Chat-up Connoisseur T-Shirts

"Of course I come here often. I'm the barmaid!"

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

Men gossiping

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"I guess when your husband dies you'll really understand what they mean by a statistical death."

Imagine

"No, no, that’s in a bar, Mr. President — you can talk politics and religion here."

'I'm doing a wine tasting course, it's fascinating. . .'

"I suffered a stroke."

"I like them. They hate the same things we do."

Who's a cutey?

"Nope! He'd never set eyes on a water cooler in all his years in the office!"

White Wine Wisdom (2)

"I said, you know why women talk more than men?" "What?" "I said, you know why women talk more than men..." "What?"

'Yeah, but this time she just said no -- there wasn't any hysterical laughter!'

Bookshop: Our Bestsellers - Empty Phrases

"We should probably talk about the elephant in the Roomba."

'The website made a mistake. Not 'erotic' - 'neurotic'.'

"I was really impressed by the way you sent back the wine, though it did come in second to the waiter's uppercut."

Silly News.

'The Entrecote a la Bordelaise? It's stuff on a plate.'

"I'd like a wine that was born in France and then bummed around California."

"There's a kind of rhythm to making money that something inside me responds to."

"I'm afraid you will have to sign a non-disclosure agreement."

"It's an agreeable little wine."

'I know you like romantic things, so I built us this love-nest. Stuck together with my own spit.'

"He says he's a Professor of Rhetoric but I'm not persuaded."

"NOBODY LISTENS ANYMORE."

'You do obscenity very well. Can you talk without being obscene as well?'

"Hold that afterthought!"

'This is our real-time chat room.'

"Richard has quite an ear for dialogue."

"She never has a bad word to say about anyone, she's always too busy talking about herself..."

"So, have you two been doing anything reproductive?"