Chat-up Aficionados T-Shirts

Didn't I see you on the 'Money Programme'?

"Darling, wait until you taste the new year's menu I have ordered for us!"

Woman on the phone.

Communication

Boys and Girls: Differences in Internet Surfing.

'Who's a pretty boy! Is that all you've got to say?'

Twice a year, Uncle Mort and Sadie Cohen have an official relationship talk. While this biannual conversation is scheduled by mutual consent under long-standing treaty, some participants engage grudgingly. Let's talk about our feelings. I don't feel like it. That's not a feeling, Snookums! Loophole!

"I'm sorry, Doctor, when you said benign growth, I thought you were referring to my husband."

"I'm hooking up with this guy who makes the funniest typos."

"You had too many characters in your last tweet."

Fresh Lobster

"Is it horny in here, or is it just me?"

'A table for two?'

'As a teleworker Colin sometimes struggled against feelings of isolation.'

'I just got off the phone with my long-time writing partner who's bringing over my deathbed confessional masterpiece. In the meantime, who's up for some idle chit-chat? How about all this rain we've been getting, huh?!"

'Life! Give my conversation liiiife!'

"Note to self...'NICE APPS' is not a good opening line."

Pete's trying to groom himself"

'Do you, Optimus_!@aol.com. take thee, Sexy69@aol.co...'

"Wouldn't it be easier just to go to another restaurant."

"Hi. I'm Steve. I see you here all the time."

"She doesn't have the hots for you. She doesn't even have the lukewarms for you."

'Because it's the only thing that still whistles at me. That's why I keep it.'

'Fred is a social conservative -- he believes in slow food and heavy beer.'

'Why Mr.Jones.. Is that you playing FTSE with me under the table? '

'Look, he likes the same things I do. Eating, sleeping, knocking things off tables...'

You haven't said a word all evening, Lance. What happened to your promise that we would spend more quality time together. Quality time, Gloria? I thought you said "quantity time."

Airport Literature

"You had me at hell."

"Nice shirt. Is it made of boyfriend material?"

"You're not holding up your end of the conversation."

"With Gloria, it's in one ear and out the mouth."

"Yeah, our first album went vinyl."

'Mommy and Daddy met on a social networking site. . .'

"Have I mentioned that I have four stomachs?''