Chat-up Line Champion Pillows

'Wait, your dog loves treats too? Wow, we have so much in common!'

'Did you just hear that? We are now and endangered species and mating is now our top priority!'

Rock star uses phone on stage: 'Hang on Mom, I'm just putting you on speakerphone.'

'This is fantastic! I don't know what's smaller, the talk or the food?'

At 4 years old most kids can say easy straightforward sentences.

"Are you busy or are you at work?"

"When I was young, we made statements using signs and marches!"

'With three teenage daughters the phone never rings twice in this house!'

'This beer is pale and tasteless.' 'Your glass is empty.'

Dadonomics

'I booze, I schmooze and then I snooze.'

"Hi. I'm Steve. I see you here all the time."

Small Talk Outlet

'Why Mr.Jones.. Is that you playing FTSE with me under the table? '

"This call is monitored for quality. Try to keep up your end of the conversation."

"You're not holding up your end of the conversation."

'Excuse me, Miss, but I believe that we've met previously.'

"My wife doesn't understand you."

'I'm in the bog!'

"He can't stop digressing."

'Why does your Superbowl ring have a picture of Captain Crunch on it?'

'You'll never win that contest -- you've never said anything in fifty words or less.'

'How's it going with me? Oh, you know, still dealing with the same old shit.'

"When you're through playing Earth Mother, you've got a call on Line 2."

'So maybe I am a real animal...don't you believe in animal rights?'

'So...do you bum here often?'

'What do you call two fat people having a chat?'

'You think you make me nervous? Don't flatter yourself, hot shot.'

"Have you got the time?", "No I've got the money."

"Oh, nothing too exciting, Donna. I burned the toast last Wednesday, and on Saturday Jim split an infinitive. What's new with you?"

"I'm a man of few words, but many numbers."

'Leylandi! That's a pretty name.'

'I play a lot of sports.'

"Of course I come here often. I'm the barmaid!"

How about a date tonight? No way...I am getting married today! Well, how about tomorrow then?