Cell Phone Chat Champion Pillows

Rock star uses phone on stage: 'Hang on Mom, I'm just putting you on speakerphone.'

'He's not talking yet, but his texting skills are excellent...'

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

Couples' therapy

Teamwork

WHO checklist

'This is fantastic! I don't know what's smaller, the talk or the food?'

"Marriage is driving me crazy and she's my designated driver!"

'It's true -- we DO communicate better in a chat room.'

'He has a very open mind. Everything goes in one ear and out the other.'

"I'm upstairs right now. On weekends and holidays, I go downstairs."

Now showing - "What's the least noisy film we can chat through?"

"I'm suffering the unbearable loneliness of being right on the internet."

'Nobody?! Well, since we're all stuck in traffic, we may as well do this by conference call.'

"Hi...I was just phoning to see if you got my e-mail?"

At 4 years old most kids can say easy straightforward sentences.

"When I was young, we made statements using signs and marches!"

"Are you busy or are you at work?"

"We've been married so long you not only finish my sentences you start 'em too."

"How did I get to be the only one that listens?"

'HEY,no Tongue!'

'This beer is pale and tasteless.' 'Your glass is empty.'

'With three teenage daughters the phone never rings twice in this house!'

Dadonomics

'I'll slap the both of you if you don't knock off the chit chat.'

"How long has your husband gone through life with these 'blinders' on?"

"Lately she refers to me as her 'insignificant other'."

"After endless delays, boarding confusion and lost luggage, it appears he's finally arriving at his conclusion."

"Before we got married you said you were oversexed."

Small Talk Outlet

'I booze, I schmooze and then I snooze.'

"Apparently women use twice as many words per day as men do."

"Hello... I will be your instructor for this assertiveness training course... that is... I mean... if you don't mind!"

"You're so easy to talk to - not everyone is such a good listener."

"This call is monitored for quality. Try to keep up your end of the conversation."