Cell Phone Chat Champion Pillows

Rock star uses phone on stage: 'Hang on Mom, I'm just putting you on speakerphone.'

'He's not talking yet, but his texting skills are excellent...'

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

Couples' therapy

Teamwork

WHO checklist

'This is fantastic! I don't know what's smaller, the talk or the food?'

"Marriage is driving me crazy and she's my designated driver!"

'It's true -- we DO communicate better in a chat room.'

'He has a very open mind. Everything goes in one ear and out the other.'

"I'm upstairs right now. On weekends and holidays, I go downstairs."

"I'm suffering the unbearable loneliness of being right on the internet."

Now showing - "What's the least noisy film we can chat through?"

'Nobody?! Well, since we're all stuck in traffic, we may as well do this by conference call.'

"Hi...I was just phoning to see if you got my e-mail?"

"Are you busy or are you at work?"

"When I was young, we made statements using signs and marches!"

At 4 years old most kids can say easy straightforward sentences.

"How did I get to be the only one that listens?"

'This beer is pale and tasteless.' 'Your glass is empty.'

"How long has your husband gone through life with these 'blinders' on?"

Dadonomics

"We've been married so long you not only finish my sentences you start 'em too."

"Lately she refers to me as her 'insignificant other'."

"After endless delays, boarding confusion and lost luggage, it appears he's finally arriving at his conclusion."

'With three teenage daughters the phone never rings twice in this house!'

'HEY,no Tongue!'

'I'll slap the both of you if you don't knock off the chit chat.'

"Before we got married you said you were oversexed."

Small Talk Outlet

"Apparently women use twice as many words per day as men do."

'I booze, I schmooze and then I snooze.'

"Hello... I will be your instructor for this assertiveness training course... that is... I mean... if you don't mind!"

'I'm going to restate what he just said - especially the part about my being a good listener.'

"This call is monitored for quality. Try to keep up your end of the conversation."