Chat Champion Pillows

"I'm the kind of person who likes to talk about the kind of person they are?"

'You'll never win that contest -- you've never said anything in fifty words or less.'

People who shoot off their mouths never run out of ammo.

'With three teenage daughters the phone never rings twice in this house!'

'This beer is pale and tasteless.' 'Your glass is empty.'

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

'He's not talking yet, but his texting skills are excellent...'

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

Couples' therapy

"Matthew, did we agree to adopt a whale?"

WHO checklist

Rock star uses phone on stage: 'Hang on Mom, I'm just putting you on speakerphone.'

'This is fantastic! I don't know what's smaller, the talk or the food?'

"Marriage is driving me crazy and she's my designated driver!"

'It's true -- we DO communicate better in a chat room.'

'He has a very open mind. Everything goes in one ear and out the other.'

"I'm suffering the unbearable loneliness of being right on the internet."

Now showing - "What's the least noisy film we can chat through?"

At 4 years old most kids can say easy straightforward sentences.

"When I was young, we made statements using signs and marches!"

"Are you busy or are you at work?"

"After endless delays, boarding confusion and lost luggage, it appears he's finally arriving at his conclusion."

"Lately she refers to me as her 'insignificant other'."

"How long has your husband gone through life with these 'blinders' on?"

'I'll slap the both of you if you don't knock off the chit chat.'

Dadonomics

"How did I get to be the only one that listens?"

'HEY,no Tongue!'

"Before we got married you said you were oversexed."

"Apparently women use twice as many words per day as men do."

Small Talk Outlet

'I booze, I schmooze and then I snooze.'

Affordable homes coming soon - 'If they build these then our house will become affordable...!'

"Hello... I will be your instructor for this assertiveness training course... that is... I mean... if you don't mind!"

"This call is monitored for quality. Try to keep up your end of the conversation."