Chatroom Champion Pillows

"I'm suffering the unbearable loneliness of being right on the internet."

Online chat

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

Rock star uses phone on stage: 'Hang on Mom, I'm just putting you on speakerphone.'

'This is fantastic! I don't know what's smaller, the talk or the food?'

'It's true -- we DO communicate better in a chat room.'

Now showing - "What's the least noisy film we can chat through?"

At 4 years old most kids can say easy straightforward sentences.

"When I was young, we made statements using signs and marches!"

"Oh, I see you're busy, so I'll keep talking."

'With three teenage daughters the phone never rings twice in this house!'

'HEY,no Tongue!'

'Blah, blah, blah....'

'This beer is pale and tasteless.' 'Your glass is empty.'

"How did I get to be the only one that listens?"

'I'll slap the both of you if you don't knock off the chit chat.'

Dadonomics

'We need something for his verbal incontinence. He has a blather control problem.'

'Well this shouldn't last long.'

Small Talk Outlet

"Well, I think they fit perfectly."

'I booze, I schmooze and then I snooze.'

'That's what I call a workout! One hour of walking and 2 hours of running our mouths.'

"You're so easy to talk to - not everyone is such a good listener."

'I'm in the bog!'

"Can you believe she said that I 'talk too much'? I can go hours without saying anything. You've witnessed it. What about sleeping? I don't talk in my sleep... do I? Oh, well, I just bought a box of vintage oven mitts on eBay last night. I couldn't sleep..."

"He can't stop digressing."

'I'm going to Internets Anonymous...we meet in a Yahoo chatroom!'

'Every time you get ready to make a call, on your mobile phone, you reach for a comfortable chair. No wonder all that air time translates into large phone bills.'

'He's stuck on 'but I digress'.'

'You'll never win that contest -- you've never said anything in fifty words or less.'

"Good morning 'Best Friends Forever' breakfast club!"

'How's it going with me? Oh, you know, still dealing with the same old shit.'

'Please don't interrupt when I'm about to speak Neville!'