Channel Changer Gifts

"When I first heard about the move from CBS to Fox, I was sad, because I figured that was it—it would never be the same. But then I had a revelation—an epiphany, if you will—and I realized that, hey, it will be the same. It will always be the same."

"Well, folks, it looks as if Ole Mich is really getting trounced by those Reds.

'What's it to be? An overbearing chef, an overbearing interior designer, or an overbearing gardener?'

'... and don't watch the Food Channel.'

Deja Viewer

"Sky, sir?"

"Smart technology is taking the fun out of things."

"Our TV has a 'fair' feature. It knows when you've dominated the TV, so it automatically switches over to my show."

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

Stop! Stop what? Do not change the channel! Sex, death, harrowing footage of the most remarkable story you've ever seen, tattoos, rock-n-roll, action, action, action! It's all coming right up, right after this five second break for station identification. Five seconds ... You're watching Rock Television. And now back to our ... bored. Welcome to ABC. We've got thrills, action, more thrills ... Click. I've got your action right here. We've created a monster. Click click click click click cl-

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

'Me? Dislocated thumb from switching channels to catch all the Olympic events. . .'

Three businessmen using a pulley system to change a graph

Game changing

"Oh, goody. More reality-based crap."

It's only a remote, dear...if you want better programs you will need a wand.

Human Rights for All

"In da house"

Don't touch that dial! — We're experts, and we know what you should be watching!

Fast Lane. cars Like yours.

'500 channels...surely there must be something worth watching.'

'EXIT -Next Exit.'

"Five million channels! This is heaven indeed!"

"I warned you that tattoo wouldn't change colour."

'I wish you'd hurry and decide which film you're going to sleep through.'

"It's that Silicon Valley foundation - they want to know if we'll match our grandson's $100 million donation."

"Not sure what to watch? Go to menu/settings/power/off/pick up a book."

"There are too many starfish for you to save. How can you possibly hope to make a difference?"

Look out, here comes the old man

The scourge of the 'burbs, cable pirates board another innocent hom in their unceasing search for that one extra channel, the occasional first-run movie, or the highly-prized pay-per-view sports events..

'Must...find...something...intelligent..!'

Race relations - political stagnation - hate-fear...want to mae a difference?

"Seems another philanthropist has beaten us here."

Man holding up a cowboy with his TV remote control.

There's the pay TV remote, the set top box remote, the TV remote...now where did I put the worth watching remote?