Channel Selector Gifts

'Any chance you could block out the home shopping network.'

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

TV-Man

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

Yummy Mummies

Alien uses astronaut's visor as TV to watch news.

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

"Oh, goody. More reality-based crap."

It's only a remote, dear...if you want better programs you will need a wand.

'Now ask yourself Gerald, do we really need ALL these channels?'

'You called me out of the blue... Cobalt, ultramarine, prussian, cerulean or phthalocyanine?'

"It boils down to which I dislike more: ironing shirts or non-iron shirts."

How I met your mother

'He gets confused switching channels between the World series and NFL games.'

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

Don't touch that dial! — We're experts, and we know what you should be watching!

Remote control wars.

'She got all the soap opera channels at a discount -- it's some kind of 'frequent cryer' program.'

"I never saw 'Cheers,' so I won't miss 'Cheers.'"

"We interrupt this rubbish to give you another chance to switch off."

Digital TV presents "It's true there really is a channel for everyone"

"I've downsized."

'I hope there's something better on the 'other side'!..'

'500 channels...surely there must be something worth watching.'

"We interrupt C.B.S.'s evening news with a special bulletin from N.B.C.!"

'The hardest part of being a street crazy is picking each day's sign.'

"What's the difference between the butterscotch champagne mist and the tawny sunset beige? Probably something buried deep in your psyche."

'You can't vote him off, dear - he's the newsreader'

"Not sure what to watch? Go to menu/settings/power/off/pick up a book."

Transformation of Man into Monster.

"How many new sitcoms will it make before they find a decent one?" "About twenty something"

Man struggling to carry a giant tv remote control with hundreds of channels.