Song Selectors Gifts

The lame stuff you listen to (yes, you)

Yummy Mummies

"It boils down to which I dislike more: ironing shirts or non-iron shirts."

Birds with Headphones

'You called me out of the blue... Cobalt, ultramarine, prussian, cerulean or phthalocyanine?'

Musical genres

"I've downsized."

'The hardest part of being a street crazy is picking each day's sign.'

"What's the difference between the butterscotch champagne mist and the tawny sunset beige? Probably something buried deep in your psyche."

"Decide who you are, Wanona, before you buy sheets."

'You can't vote him off, dear - he's the newsreader'

"Not sure what to watch? Go to menu/settings/power/off/pick up a book."

'Good boy. That's better than the others, but still too long. For playing fetch, I prefer a shorter stick, shaped like that, without bark or moss, and not quite as heavy.'

'Can I choose which brick you name after me?'

"Our top story: People all over the world have stopped fighting, and will join together in a chorus of peace and love! This just in: Fighting erupts over what song to sing."

Eric Clapton.

'Save or delete...decisions, decisions..it's just like being at work!'

"That's cute, but you'll never realize your phone's ringing in here if your ringtone's a belch."

'What's it to be? An overbearing chef, an overbearing interior designer, or an overbearing gardener?'

'The selectors must be meeting...'

Desert Island Downloads

'Okay, how about THAT shade of mud?'

'The MCC picks the team for Australia' via a lucky dip

'Good gracious, NO! He would clash horribly with my Chintz three piece suite!'

"Good grief Betty, that's just the sort of pace the Test Selectors are looking for."

'How do these glasses feel?'

'Test Cricket Selection Board' "Those opposed say 'I quit'!"

Beggar on street 'Ex-England opener bugged about by the selectors, please help'

'Any chance you could block out the home shopping network.'

" "I decided my life needs a soundtrack. So I programmed my phone to play specific tunes whenever certain people are nearby."