Tone Selector Gifts

'You called me out of the blue... Cobalt, ultramarine, prussian, cerulean or phthalocyanine?'

"It boils down to which I dislike more: ironing shirts or non-iron shirts."

Birds with Headphones

Musical genres

"I don't like the tone of your voice. Mind if I tweak it a bit?"

"What's the difference between the butterscotch champagne mist and the tawny sunset beige? Probably something buried deep in your psyche."

"You'll really like this next song. I wrote it specifically to be a ring tone!"

'You can't vote him off, dear - he's the newsreader'

"Not sure what to watch? Go to menu/settings/power/off/pick up a book."

"Just need a minute to send a quick email and the three hours to wonder if the tone was appropriate."

Ralph Vaughan Williams

'and for my 12,307 choice I'd have the live extended version of...'

Police Dept. Public Information Office. This press release should say "We have not yet gathered evidence," not "We're clueless"!

Remember, he's simple - It's not WHAT you bark at him, it's the TONE you use when you bark at him.

Amateur singers

"Our top story: People all over the world have stopped fighting, and will join together in a chorus of peace and love! This just in: Fighting erupts over what song to sing."

"That's cute, but you'll never realize your phone's ringing in here if your ringtone's a belch."

The lame stuff you listen to (yes, you)

Singer's shadow covering it's ears.

"You're writing in the masculine again."

'... and finally, would you like winter pine, or potpourri delight?'

'See if you can find a catchy tune.'

"If you want feedback from the boss, turn up your volume and stand closer to him."

If you kids can't do your chores, you can't be online. We're researching! No work, no screens. Unfair! You asked us. I did not ask you to cruise electronics sites all day. But, mom! You said you wanted our Christmas lists! It's a chore to pick the best Smart Phone.

Desert Island Downloads

"Oh god, he's going for the jukebox!"

"The tone of the letter is stern, almost threatening, but - see here? - he signs with a smiley face, so I think we may be alright."

'Okay, how about THAT shade of mud?'

Custom ring tones.

'Any chance you could block out the home shopping network.'

" "I decided my life needs a soundtrack. So I programmed my phone to play specific tunes whenever certain people are nearby."