Godly Channel Changers Gifts

God changes the channel with his remote.

Local News in Heaven

"Oh, goody. More reality-based crap."

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

It's only a remote, dear...if you want better programs you will need a wand.

'When you pray, does God have call waiting?'

"Because of the economic situation they've relaxed the rules."

Anubis loved his evening rides.

"Not sure what to watch? Go to menu/settings/power/off/pick up a book."

Heaven is unattended...leave your prayers at the sound of the tone.

"Sky, sir?"

Apostle shopping at 'Aeroapostle' Store.

"All of my manifestations are currently busy however your prayer is important to me so please..."

"When I first heard about the move from CBS to Fox, I was sad, because I figured that was it—it would never be the same. But then I had a revelation—an epiphany, if you will—and I realized that, hey, it will be the same. It will always be the same."

"I'm not judging you... God is."

"Roughly translated, it says: this wall is now available on video and DVD."

"Our TV has a 'fair' feature. It knows when you've dominated the TV, so it automatically switches over to my show."

"I take it you're trying to change the channel?"

'What's it to be? An overbearing chef, an overbearing interior designer, or an overbearing gardener?'

"We are currently experiencing a high volume of calls but your prayer is important to us so please stay on the line and one of our ....."

"My post only got one like, but it is from God."

"Well, folks, it looks as if Ole Mich is really getting trounced by those Reds.

Snooker Channel.

'Father, I think the Lord has forsaken me, all I get is his voicemail.'

Struck Down by Lightning.

Deja Viewer

"Smart technology is taking the fun out of things."

'Could you change the channel? This program even put the bird to sleep.'

"He's still planning what to watch on TV tonight."

Never fails. Stay in all week, not one call. Step out for an hour to preach...

"A counter offer? Really, sir?"

Monk has divine reception

"Miraculously my provider can handle the zillions who beseech me every second of the day."

"Heaven is currently unattended, if you wish to leave your prayers at the sound of the tone...they will be answered."

Knee-Mail