Changing Room Comedians Gifts

Three-way mirror

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

Moses on the web

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

"They're born into captivity, it's all they know."

"Helen, I have decided to seek a change of venue, since it has grown increasingly obvious that I can no longer get a fair trial in this household."

'So how do you manage such a close shave?' 'Simple,i wait till the very last second.'

'So, that's where the blue water comes from!'

'I gotta admit - this 'jury by my peers' idea of yours is looking pretty good.'

Jurors saying 'I'm on the jury' on their mobiles.

'Might I caution you on suing the defendant for damages...such action is fraught with difficulty, given your 'hand-me-down' status in his family!!'

"I'm innocent. I've just never been able to pass up a good plea bargain."

Judge to attorneys in courtroom wearing boxing gloves: 'Looks like you're both ready for your opening arguments, gentlemen?'

'Judge Mental.'

"These days, everyone is lawyering up."

'I had no idea there was a local ordinance against taking the Fifth Amendment!'

'Talk to my lawyer.'

'We've got a personal hygiene foul! Number 70!... Fifteen yards!!'

On second thought, your honor

'Either it's a mistake, or this town's gone soft on crime.'

The Sex life of a Driving Test Examiner, "Thank you. I will not ask you to perform that manoeuvre again."

"It's time we start moving into this uncharted territory."

'Where was I on the night of the 7th of August? I was home washing my hair.'

His and Hernia's towels.

'Could you recommend a fruit that works for lawyers?'

Lawyers Ridin' The Range: 'Happy trials to you, until we meet again!'

Prosecutor's Office. The judge threw out the confession --- He said it was coerced. You violated the duress code!

'We're ready to order... ORDER!'

"Perhaps this will refresh your memory."

"Got outta jury duty!"

"And just like that, Greg's snoring stopped..."

'My client stands before you, a jury of his peers ...'

"My client can't help his verbal obfuscation. He's suffering from straightforwardness dysfunctionality."