Chainsaw Collector Pillows

'Davinia! Your Feng Shui person's here.'

"You see, honey, no lousy coronavirus is gonna get to us way out here."

Squeal like a pig!

Armless chainsaw juggler.

"These aren’t the droids you’re looking for."

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

'Little Yank' Calf Puller.

"Did you bring any protection with you?"

Scene from 'Night of the Koala'

"Of course I know how to use a chainsaw!"

'Next Please...' (Joe's Sharpening Service).

"It's time I got a bigger sword!"

Al's Farm Equipment: Our Prices Can't Be Beat!

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

'You know, there's no need to reinvent the rock.'

'Yeah, yeah, yeah... I know the drill.'

In/Out

'Damn, I knew that disabled access would be our undoing.'

"If I can't use a calculator, may I use my Dad's old slide-rule?"

A barbarian warrior eats his breakfast

Knights queue up to attempt to pull excalibur with a claw machine.

"They didn’t warn us about this in our training"

Pun on Excalibur - Swiss Army knife appears from the lake.

Do you like my bling?

"Geez, Dude. I asked for a slight trim. Not a Brazilian wax."

"I'll tell you how much wood I could chuck if I could—a lot, like, half a cord!"

"Al Gore happens to be a friend of mine."

Lumberjack Finds Strange Tree Rings

'Would it have killed you to go with a store-bought model?'

Weapons of War Through the Ages.

'There, THAT tree won't bother anyone anymore!'

'None shall pass!'

'It's my latest invention -- I cal lit 'a rock tied to a stick.''

'My hubby is getting better at D.I.Y. . . . Oh yes, he now spends more on screws than plasters.'

"Now now, what have I told you about using your zombie knife at the dinner table..."