Chainsaw Collector T-Shirts

'Davinia! Your Feng Shui person's here.'

"You see, honey, no lousy coronavirus is gonna get to us way out here."

'I'll be the back yard cutting firewood. Have you seen my protective goggles?. . .Well, luckily I kept my old hockey mask!'

Squeal like a pig!

Armless chainsaw juggler.

"These aren’t the droids you’re looking for."

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

'Little Yank' Calf Puller.

Professor Wiles grows insufferable.

"Did you bring any protection with you?"

Scene from 'Night of the Koala'

"Of course I know how to use a chainsaw!"

"Harry?... Is that you?"

'Next Please...' (Joe's Sharpening Service).

"It's time I got a bigger sword!"

'Yeah, yeah, yeah... I know the drill.'

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

'You know, there's no need to reinvent the rock.'

Al's Farm Equipment: Our Prices Can't Be Beat!

In/Out

'Damn, I knew that disabled access would be our undoing.'

"If I can't use a calculator, may I use my Dad's old slide-rule?"

A barbarian warrior eats his breakfast

"I don't think you can get a peace prize for ending a war that you started."

Knights queue up to attempt to pull excalibur with a claw machine.

Do you like my bling?

Pun on Excalibur - Swiss Army knife appears from the lake.

"I'll tell you how much wood I could chuck if I could—a lot, like, half a cord!"

"Al Gore happens to be a friend of mine."

"Geez, Dude. I asked for a slight trim. Not a Brazilian wax."

"They didn’t warn us about this in our training"

Lumberjack Finds Strange Tree Rings

'Would it have killed you to go with a store-bought model?'

Weapons of War Through the Ages.

'There, THAT tree won't bother anyone anymore!'