Chainsaw Handler T-Shirts

"You raised it from a mutant seed, you whack it."

"Of course I know how to use a chainsaw!"

Scene from 'Night of the Koala'

"Humans are strange."

"So long, boys. I'm off to the big city to try my hand at chainsaw sculpture."

'Davinia! Your Feng Shui person's here.'

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

Unbeknownst to many, the Frankenstein legend was in fact based on Albert Grimes, the mad tree surgeon.

'I'm ready! You ready?...You ready?'

'I'll be the back yard cutting firewood. Have you seen my protective goggles?. . .Well, luckily I kept my old hockey mask!'

"I'll tell you how much wood I could chuck if I could—a lot, like, half a cord!"

"Geez, Dude. I asked for a slight trim. Not a Brazilian wax."

"Al Gore happens to be a friend of mine."

"There you go with that typical police mentality."

"They didn’t warn us about this in our training"

"He did it!"

"You see, honey, no lousy coronavirus is gonna get to us way out here."

Lumberjack Finds Strange Tree Rings

'There, THAT tree won't bother anyone anymore!'

"3:14 p.m. Suspect drives to lakeside resort. Rents rowboat under false name. Tosses evidence into... wait, how do I tell anyone?" Topper: Undercover police dog

"You've not used a chainsaw before have you?"

Squeal like a pig!

'Don't get me wrong, the professional dog-walker is nice, but it is not really the same as if my Master was walking me...'

'He's a sniffer dog-trained to sniff out dope.'

Police Dept. K-9 Unit. Just once I'd like to go undercover as a bad dog.

Armless chainsaw juggler.

"She barks once for drugs, twice for weapons, and ten times for candy bars."

"It's okay. The chainsaw runs on biofuel."

Lumberjack:'TIMBERRRR!' Tree:'MURDERERRRR!'

'I wonder how many board feet are in this tree.'

"Now... shall we count YOUR rings..?"

Chainsaw and Chair

Ice Sculpting Class.

8th Annual Chainsaw Carving Competition

Incompetent gardeners cause havoc