Chainsaw Operator T-Shirts

"They didn’t warn us about this in our training"

Crane operator Jimmy Morrison liked to break in new guys by giving them what he called a 'sky wedgie.'

"Of course I know how to use a chainsaw!"

Scene from 'Night of the Koala'

"Legs together, David -- You're hamspreading again."

"So long, boys. I'm off to the big city to try my hand at chainsaw sculpture."

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

'Davinia! Your Feng Shui person's here.'

'Business is booming.' - at Uncle Bert's Explosives

Crane fishing

Unbeknownst to many, the Frankenstein legend was in fact based on Albert Grimes, the mad tree surgeon.

"Geez, Dude. I asked for a slight trim. Not a Brazilian wax."

'I'll be the back yard cutting firewood. Have you seen my protective goggles?. . .Well, luckily I kept my old hockey mask!'

"You see, honey, no lousy coronavirus is gonna get to us way out here."

"I'll tell you how much wood I could chuck if I could—a lot, like, half a cord!"

"Al Gore happens to be a friend of mine."

Lumberjack Finds Strange Tree Rings

'Well, they're just like your mom's cookies if your mom is a 35 ton, multi-unit dough extruder.'

'There, THAT tree won't bother anyone anymore!'

'Your resume is certainly impressive, Mr. Simmons, but do you have any on the job experience?'

Squeal like a pig!

"You've not used a chainsaw before have you?"

Armless chainsaw juggler.

Lumberjack:'TIMBERRRR!' Tree:'MURDERERRRR!'

"It's okay. The chainsaw runs on biofuel."

Children's Terrain Rides - kids seated and enjoying themselves in the way they would on a real train.

'I wonder how many board feet are in this tree.'

Scaffolding being put together by glue.

Flop Musicals: Singing in the Crane.

"I should have know he was a control freak when he seduced me in his signal box."

"Due to unforeseen circumstances, there will be no delays on the subway today."

The light rail system is reaching the downtown business core too quickly!

"Now... shall we count YOUR rings..?"

Chainsaw and Chair

Ice Sculpting Class.