Cerebral Financier Gifts

Stock Market Psychology: 'Buy with the leftside of your brain, sell with the rightside!'

Great Chinese Dynasties

A child runs an equity stand.

"If it's all the same to you, I'd like my allowance in bitcoins."

"Sorry, stock-market jitters."

'This is where I keep my investment portfolio.'

"I'm afraid the price would make him toss and turn all night for months!"

"I was a stockbroker first, but when I realized how much time I spent praying, I figured, what the heck?"

'If you don't learn how to sign your name, you'll have to pay cash!'

"Post holiday sales look similar to the crater that killed the dinosaurs."

"We've decided to diversify our funds on some candy!"

"Want to trade banks with me?"

"No, unfortunately I won't be raising your debt ceiling."

'I follow my dad's stocks so I know when to ask for an allowance increase.'

The End of Trump?

"I know your dad's a hedge fund manager, Amber, but you don't need a bigger piece of paper to draw a picture of your house."

"And the Lord said, 'You know, it takes a ton of money to run a place like this.'"

'...and help my parents to pick the right mutual funds in my portfolio for my education...'

'We're going to take a financial risk.'

'The National Debt just sounds like it's a lot of money because it's such a large number.'

'He's so spoilt, he has his pocket money paid into a Swiss bank account.'

'I bet he gets a better rate of interest than me!'

"The first thing we should do is get you two into a good mutual fund. Let me get out the 'Magic 8 Ball' and we'll fun some options."

'Two new NBA franchises: The 'Wall Street Bulls' and the 'Main street bears'.'

"Tooth fairy funds may seem consistent, and birthday money stable, but you really need to consider diversification of your portfolio."

The Economy Discovers FFF!

Some moss pounces on a rolling stone.

"Before we discuss your loan, Mr Carlson, perhaps you'd like to spend a few moments with out bank chaplain."

"You have $3,098 in the bank? I'm impressed! So...do you think about investing it?"

'We're all wearing them - they were a gift from Warren Buffett.'

Girl holding money.

'Junior, if you don't do your homework and stop daytrading, we'll have to freeze your assets!'

"I'll look into it, but you're still in the first grade. Normally, they don't give student loans until you're in college."