Futuristic Financier Gifts

Ok, I've set you up with an offshore back account, so you can hide your valuables for use after the oncoming apocalypse. You're too kind, sir. Where is it? Caymans? Switzerland? That's amateur stuff. The economy's increasingly global. When America goes down, it could take the Swiss and Cayman economies down with it. Then where – To open your account, I'll need your passport, tax returns, and a map of your genome. Bank of Deneb Prime. Trump turned me on to it.

"We will take wal-mart, exxon mobil, chevron and then assimilate them. . . resistance is futile. . ."

Robotic Man

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

A child runs an equity stand.

'I bought him to retrieve my e-mails.'

"If it's all the same to you, I'd like my allowance in bitcoins."

"See? A huge surge in all the major crowdfunding sites right before the Big Bang!"

'This is where I keep my investment portfolio.'

Early Attempt at Quantitative Easing.

'Take us to your crash test facilities. We're here to liberate our compatriots!'

Robot walking pet robot

"We do have faith but I'm afraid our policy is still not to accept Bitcoin."

"We've decided to diversify our funds on some candy!"

'If you don't learn how to sign your name, you'll have to pay cash!'

Bot Art: After Mary Cassatt

'So, what do you want to be when you grow up: rebel scum or loyal servant of the supreme android republic?'

'The next big thing is ultra nano.'

"Space wants to kill you."

"Hello ... Susan ... Joe ... Not ... Make ... It ... Me ... Joe's ... Robot ... Me ... Programmed ... Take ... You ... Dinner ..."

"And this financial plan is specifically designed for people who know their retirement -- IF they get one -- won't be half as good as their parents' retirement, and are really steamed about it!"

'I follow my dad's stocks so I know when to ask for an allowance increase.'

No caption. (Adult pushes buttons at an ATM. Child pushes buttons at an "APBM" - and Automatic Piggy Bank Machine.)

Catastrophe Risk Insurance

"No I wouldn't say you're ahead of your time. More like 'outside of it'."

'What do you mean, you want a coffee break?!'

'He's precocious.'

"I know your dad's a hedge fund manager, Amber, but you don't need a bigger piece of paper to draw a picture of your house."

"Ambitions . . . to replace mankind."

"Want to trade banks with me?"

Another new, really cool-looking gadget in a desperate search for a problem to solve.

The Thinker

'The future of medicine' "It's genomics." "I'd say proteins." "Same as always: economics."

'...and help my parents to pick the right mutual funds in my portfolio for my education...'

"How will you be paying? Crypto, Venmo, electronic fund transfer, credit card, check, cash, precious metals, brightly colored shells or livestock?"