Cereal Satire Lover Gifts

Crisis Crunches - The Now Cereal

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

German Expressionist Breakfast

'Kix? Yes, Ma'am -- you can get your Kix on aisle 66.'

Credit Crunch Corn Flakes.

Real Estate Krisp Flakes: Location! Location! Location!

'We've only got a couple of days to finish this box of cereal. Mom'll never let us eat something called energy-packed after school's out.'

"Oui, c'est bon. It is, how you Americans say, 'Magically Delicious'."

Power breakfast.

Sister to brother: 'It's kind of like alphabet soup, only for numbers crunchers.'

'Snap, crackle, help! I'm lactose intolerant!'

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

Cereal Tasting.

Gullib-Os

It was then that Cervantes was inspired.

Mom bought the wrong flakes

'Frank, leak to the tabloids that these slow moving broccoli flakes cure cancer.'

"It's magically delicious...especially when you sprinkle...Halloween candy on it!"

'I'm not sure how you managed to burn a bowl of cereal.'

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

"Everything bad for you has already been removed."

Sugar Crunchies - Free Dental Treatment.

'This may be the only time I'll ever bring you breakfast in bed - So wake up!'

"Nice landing, Captain Crunch."

"We upped the protein by simply factoring in the permissible level of insect parts."

'Vitamins A, B, C, D...Hey, Mom! - this cereal has all the recommended daily allowance of alphabet in it!'

1% Cereal: Now with marshmallow dollar signs.

Credit Crunch: Breakfast for Losers.

'It's the natural cereal you requested. No additives. No preservatives. No artificial color.'

"I go soggy in the bath."

'It's every SNOW flake that's different, Billy - Not every CORN flake.'

"Before we begin tonight's dream, a word from our sponsor..."

'It says, 'If you want more fiber, eat the package.'

'The dept. of agriculture says yes, the environmental protection agency says maybe, and the food and drug administration says no.'

Witch's breakfast cereal makes the sound: 'Snap, Cackle, Pop.'