Cereal Lover Gifts

"Before we begin tonight's dream, a word from our sponsor..."

'We're out of your regular granola, so try this...the birds seem to like it!'

'It says, 'If you want more fiber, eat the package.'

'You own the rights to the phrase, 'Cereal Killer', and we want to buy them.'

'This is one of the pitfalls of shopping online ...'

"Give me a cereal, extra marshmallows."

Bed & Breakfast

German Expressionist Breakfast

'Y'know, this healthy grown up cereal is pretty good.'

'One four ounce serving supplies minimum daily requirement of butylated hydroxyanisole...'

'How long have you had these cornflakes, Edna?'

Cereal for the hearing impaired or monks who've taken a vow of silence.

When we say they snap crackle and pop, we're not kidding!

GOLDEN RULE: 'High moral fiber cereal,'

"What a swizz.. there's supposed to be a free CD in here."

"Eat your cereal. Your father's heavily invested in grain."

'It looks like bacon and eggs, but it's 100% bran.'

Real Estate Krisp Flakes: Location! Location! Location!

Kellogg's newest cereal for kids over 30. 'Wow! There's even a prize at the bottom of the box! My student loans are paid! Cool!'

Fart, barf, cough.

George was not a morning person.

Bad Product Concepts

'Frank, leak to the tabloids that these slow moving broccoli flakes cure cancer.'

Moral Fruit and Fiber Cereal

'Brace yourself Rookie - a bowl overdose is never pretty.'

'Vitamins A, B, C, D...Hey, Mom! - this cereal has all the recommended daily allowance of alphabet in it!'

'Irritable bowl syndrome'

'...supplies 99% of your daily vitamins, minerals and all around nutrition in just one four pound serving.'

Credit Crunch: Breakfast for Losers.

Mans breakfast makes a 'Snap, crackle, pop' sound. He hears his dog's food making a 'Woof, growl, yelp' sound.

"We increased our cereal's market share and lowered costs by eliminating one expensive ingredient - cereal."

'Cat food' 'Dog food' 'Kid food'

"Actually, they're tangerines - you said you wanted fruit in your cereal."

"I go soggy in the bath."

"I'm making it official. I'm giving Mary Jane my prize tonight."