Centenarian Cheerleader Gifts

'Well, if you were on the verge of 100, I'd let you reach it.'

'I tried being pessimistic. I was terrible at it.'

Ice Skater

'I don't think of my skin as saggy...I think of it as relaxed-fit!'

Santa Claus delivers the vaccine.

"I'm sorry but we do not promote just for participation."

Lemonade - Serving this community since 10:18am

David Cameron: 'Is there a volunteer in the house?'

'When you get older everything hurts... and what doesn't hurt doesn't work!'

'60 is the new 40.'

"Is that Penny I smell? It's been so long... Hold on, is this Dougie? No way! That crazy mongrel, he is nuts! I remember that time he chased those kids on skateboards all the way down Cliff Street. Wait, is this Rosie?!"

"Isn't this just a repeat of his 1332 Christmas special."

Labour Protests

"Well, you're not itsy-bitsy to me."

Super Bowl Sunday sermon: "Is it better to kick off or receive?"

"Bore me to sleep, Daddy."

Psst, Shirley, have you signed Frank's birthday card yet?

"When did we stop saying 'amen' and start giving the 'wave'?"

"School starts soon...."

'Honestly! You'd do anything to win the Community Balloon Race, wouldn't you?'

Santa Claus Falls Victim to Global Warming

'I'm afraid we'll have to get a Santa who can remember his lines'

It's Christmas time, there's no need to be afraid..

The motherhood

'Perhaps this would feel less painful if you try focusing on your own life rather than living vicariously through mine.'

"You don't have to smile THAT much when we take down the tree."

'I try to keep the Christmas Spirit all year long, but usually run out of money in March.'

"Looks like Santa left something for everyone."

Blue Balloon

Fielder being carried away on stretcher, team mate sympathetically says 'Well held, Tony'

Old people sign - Whatever

Big Society Bank

'Bev has become the neighborhood soccer mom.'

Belleville Toy Store Next Exit (Scream until daddy pulls the car over.

Next rest area 8 feet