Cemetery Staff Gifts

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

Man runs scared from ringing graveyard bell.

Joint Ventures!

'Wasn't there three of you guys when we started?'

"Just to be clear, you want suicide doors installed on your hearse?"

"Mom, Dad – I’d like you to meet Edna."

'Grave rage Vicar, we get a lot of it now.'

"Mt. Joe Cemetary?"

A Late Bloomer.

"No skulls, just whatever you can carry home..."

"Grave rage, Vicar, we get a lot of it now"

"Time to knock off for lunch?"

"Will that be all, sir?"

Gravedigger

"It was 2am and time for another unauthorized tanning session for the boys on the crematorium's night shift."

"I'm going to put a fir branch on my husband's grave. He always hated fir branches."

"First, let me say how much I appreciate your 6-foot social distancing."

"Oh my God, mother! That is, like, so passive-aggressive!"

'Tomb of the unkown Scottish goalie.'

Ignitas

Here lies Rufus J. Tosser. Inventor of the boomerang hand grenade.

Doorman with Angel Wings

'Did he say anything before he died?' 'Only 'Finger-lickin' good.''

'That's stiff competition'

Justice

'Behind the scenes at a crematorium.'

Here Lies John Doe

Larry! Larry! Can you hear me?'

"I can tell you exactly what he was compensating for."

"It's a crying shame, his wife went to visit her mother in Australia and forgot to leave directions to the kitchen"

'I lived a prosperous, but frugal life.'

'Not everyone is cut out for this business but it's a living.'