Crematorium Staff Gifts

Ignitas

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

"We’re a lending aquarium."

A Preschool of Fish

"You know what they say, there's one born every minute!"

Rodin's Cloakroom Thief

'It was restored just last year, and changed from an abstract painting to a landscape.'

"Typical venue, just providing male washroom facilities!"

Octopus Puppet Show (colour)

"It may well be a hugely significant example of early 18th century Flemish art...but as head of merchandising I have to ask 'What would it look like on a fridge magnet?'"

Joint Ventures!

Closed for Renovation

Welcome to Landworld.

"Well look who's waiting with bated breath!!"

"He's left out the staples"

The hall of bad ideas.

In the art gallery

After three days the curator decided it was probably upside down.

Sign on wall of spacious empty hall of museum: 'Air & Space Exhibit'

Rodin's Freemason (unfinished)

"Let me take that for you."

Common Dolphin

"The mural reminds them of their natural habitat."

'A frore basenji was mistaken for a stabile.'

'God, it's a relief to get away from that exhibition of a bit.'

Modigliani's Giraffe

'This melts in the mouth.' 'It's ice cubes.'

"I hope you realize your late arrivals for work seriously upset the museum's visitors!"

Damien Hirst Cafe

Killer whale with dead trainer

'What? I'm behind the barriers, aren't I?'

Museum of Commerce and gift shop.

People with tilted heads looking at crooked art gallery painting

Modern Art 'D Hirst' and 'A Nutter'

'Wasn't there three of you guys when we started?'