Cemetery Curator Gifts

You're my Mona Lisa.

At the Museum

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

"You've got a long, long road ahead of you, young man."

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

The Googler

'The way the eyes follow you is uncanny.'

'That's about it so far, Son.'

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'

"And this is our media room."

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

Physician tending a mummy.

"An unfortunate museum gift shop." "Banksy activity set." "Jackson Pollock coloring book." "MC Escher building blocks." "Claes Oldenburg miniatures." "Marceau Marceau CDs." "Seurat's connect-the-dots aaAAAAA."

"Personally, I'm a doer."

Barcode on Ancient Greek Vase

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

"Anachronism or not, it just ain't the fourth without the ribs and Willie Nelson."

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

Schools of Art - A Rough Guide.

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

"I only like their bad albums – the good ones are too commercial."

Video Henge: made from melting and molding 3,000,000 obsolete VCR tapes.

"Look, Professor - a stegosaurus!"

'Are you sure this is authentic ancient Indian art?'

'I'm sure he was a great guy, but there's a new Pharaoh in town.'

The Hall Of Mirrors Jeretski Palace, Plovdo

'I can make out the nude, but I don't see the submarine.'

They don't feed the animals in here very well, do they!

'I had no idea Ikea had been around so long.'

An ancient Egyptian exhibit at a museum.

A child at a museum starts to pull the wrappings off a mummy.