Cellphone Escapist Gifts

"One morning I looked up from my phone and saw a very bright light surrounded by blue with white fluffy stuff floating around..."

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

'Where would you recommend for a tech-free experience.'

Audio Books

Cyb-R Safe: Offering the most convincing illusion of on-line security available today!

I'd like to order a power outage. Huh? My wife's on her phone all day, my son plays video games nonstop. My boss finds me by email wherever and whenever. My pager rings 'round the clock! Say again? I was text messaging. Pull the plug, man!

Now Playing On Your Phone: Other People's Craft Projects....

"I'm looking for a data plan that will be constantly out of service so I can tell my dates I didn't mean to ghost them."

'Thank you for waiting. Please continue to hold and your call will bee answered as soon as we can.'

Houdini 2019

Man opens front door to find he's up in clouds.

"He went that-a-way." (snail escapes).

'If you wish to be put on hold, press one...'

"Please hold...for music while you wait..."

"Someone wants to talk to you about your jeep's extended warranty."

"Do you have any video games that would help reduce my role as a father?"

Hiding From Social Media

"Goddess of Good give me strength! I must. . . get. . . off. . . the. . . internet!"

"Anywhere that doesn't have TVs, computers, radios, ipods, cell phones, or video games."

Message in a bottle.

"I’ve recently started self-medicating with viral pet videos."

'If you keep running away, son, you'll never make it through your formative years.'

'These blinders help block out banner ads.'

"For your Birthday gift, I decided to stay off my phone for the entire day. You'll be proud of me, I lasted almost an entire hour!"

The anti-social network: 'In other words, you want to help the internet blow itself up.'

"It's like I'm in space with a headache."

Virtual Reality Check

"I have no problem with reality. It's just the occasional intrusion of gritty realism that I hate."

'A lovely area, but not enough waiters!'

Sometimes you wanna go where nobody knows your name

www.islandcam.org Just when Doug thought things couldn't get any worse

'I've got to go, Alice, you know how the boss frowns on personal calls.'

Message In Bottle In Bottle

Liking the Exit.

"It's the latest internet challenge, 30 mins no screen time."