Phone Call Escapists Gifts

Now here's a place I like

'You've got the wrong idiot, number.'

'A representative will be with you in twelve minutes... so, if you have to go to the bathroom, please go now...'

"I don't know what in blazes it means either, but just to be safe we'll put extra men on watch tonight."

"If you want to talk to someone uninterested, press 1..."

'I'm going to have to transfer you to someone I don't like.'

"You're young enough to play tag, but not old enough to borrow my phone to play phone tag."

'Waiter, there's a cell phone in my soup.'

Phoning a Busy Sheep: 'Sorry I can't get to the phone right now, please make an animal noise after the bleat!'

'Hold on, there might be someone more interesting on the other line...'

"To hear the sounds of the seas press 1, for all other options, or, to speak with a customer advisor, please press 2."

'Jenny can't come to the phone, she's naked. Only joking, mate. Wrong number.'

"The secret of time management? Never take anyone off hold."

'Thank you for waiting. Please continue to hold and your call will bee answered as soon as we can.'

Due to higher-than-usual caller volume, your wait-time is nine minutes. That's over an hour in wolverine minutes.

"What do you mean: 'You don't believe that this is my answerphone'? Do you think I'd lie?"

Prank Cattle Calls. (mmph)

"... Or, if you're tired of listening to all of these automated options and would like to cancel your call, press 9."

'It's for you.'

"Operator, I'd like to make a person-to-person call, and I'd like to reverse the roles."

'If you wish to be put on hold, press one...'

'He's in a meeting. Would you like to speak to his assistant?'

'Are you gonna answer that?'

"Please hold...for music while you wait..."

'This is Jake. I'm not in now, so please leave a message...HELLO! HELLO! This is Jake! Ha! Ha! Ha! I'm just mesin' with you! I'm still NOT in!'

A.T.&T.'s New Competitors

I can't come in today. I haven't got chronic diarrhoea!

'I don't care if today IS 'casual day'! Stop answering the phone with 'International Beeswax Machines'!'

'Stupid telebarketers.'

"Yethhh, hello. . .are you clothed?"

Family separated by the Internet

Throw-Your-Voice Mail.

"Someone wants to talk to you about your jeep's extended warranty."

'I'm away from my desk. At the sound, please leave a message.' (Man has horn in his hand).

"I'm sorry, he's not here right now, but I could get one of his socks for you."