Cell Signal Escapist Gifts

'Now I don't have to be home. I can be anywhere and not get calls.'

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

Audio Books

"Cubicle 311 is our 'cultural oasis'."

Fish talking in a bar - one has a heap of hooks hanging out of his head 'And you must be the one who got away?'

"Rome was great – aside from the roaming fees."

'-but surely it's unusual to have nightmares with COMMERCIALS?'

"I'm looking for a data plan that will be constantly out of service so I can tell my dates I didn't mean to ghost them."

I'd like to order a power outage. Huh? My wife's on her phone all day, my son plays video games nonstop. My boss finds me by email wherever and whenever. My pager rings 'round the clock! Say again? I was text messaging. Pull the plug, man!

Master of the house states that he will be detained in the city on business when he learns that there is cold mutton for dinner.

' Well..She did it to me again.'

Houdini 2019

Man opens front door to find he's up in clouds.

"He went that-a-way." (snail escapes).

"There's actually nothing wrong with you but I can write out something in Latin to show your boss."

"Want to get out of this dump and go watch television forever?"

'If you wish to be put on hold, press one...'

"Please hold...for music while you wait..."

Hiding From Social Media

'If you keep running away, son, you'll never make it through your formative years.'

"Someone wants to talk to you about your jeep's extended warranty."

"Anywhere that doesn't have TVs, computers, radios, ipods, cell phones, or video games."

"Meet my cats - Step Over Me, Dust Around Me, and Sit Somewhere Else."

Message in a bottle.

Dangerous tax audits.

'I've had it with this job, I want to be a LUMBERJACK!!'

'Hi! I'm on the cactus!'

"For your Birthday gift, I decided to stay off my phone for the entire day. You'll be proud of me, I lasted almost an entire hour!"

"I won't be in today - I'm too happy!"

Virtual Reality Check

'I've got to go, Alice, you know how the boss frowns on personal calls.'

"I have no problem with reality. It's just the occasional intrusion of gritty realism that I hate."

'A lovely area, but not enough waiters!'

Sometimes you wanna go where nobody knows your name