Celestial Stockholder Gifts

'I must warn you, Mr. Smith, you'll have to do all your investing on the internet. There's a big shortage of financial advisors up here.'

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

'It's not for myself, you understand."

'Stocks plummeted on news of your demise.'

An amplified harp

"This is neither Heaven nor Hell. It's the private sector."

"I still maintain an online presence."

"I'm not unhappy, just surprised at all the other denominations that are here."

"The first bill is always a shock-everyone thinks Heaven will be free."

'What's the wi-fi like?'

Magazine Stand at the Pearly Gates

Angel Golf

It took the members of the seance almost 2 hours to make contact with Muriel but it was worth it."

'If the universe is expanding, shouldn't we invest?'

"I miss fine stores everywhere."

Umpire holds the halos of angels playing cricket.

Sell the Universe !

"It was bad enough learning to master the use of wings here but roller-blades must have been a nightmare!"

Angel using his hal to play golf.

Bassoonist cherub.

'My manager thought this might help me sell a few more CDs.'

God plays golf

Bowl-A-Rama

'What did I say? NO PANTIES!!'

"My 'chord' and my God!"

'Could you be a little more specific than angel food?'

"Do you know why the universe works so well? God runs it like a business, that's why."

'Unless you're going to pass, get the hell out of the left lane!'

'Aim for one of the holes in the ozone layer.'

"I should stop buying shoes."

'Apparently it's no longer cost effective.'

'He's built the ark...start the el ino project.'

Having shopped until she dropped, Kathy finally finds the PERFECT card.

Holy Golf

Own a little piece of heaven.