Celestial Consumers Gifts

"I miss fine stores everywhere."

'It's not for myself, you understand."

"The bagels are better in New York."

'Stocks plummeted on news of your demise.'

"This is neither Heaven nor Hell. It's the private sector."

Nectar of the Gods Dispenser.

'The good news is you don't have to worry about cholesterol, carbs, or trans fat.'

It took the members of the seance almost 2 hours to make contact with Muriel but it was worth it."

Sell the Universe !

"Just between you and me, the universe would move in much less mysterious ways if the spark plugs and the oil were changed on a half-way regular basis."

Jehovah's Fitness

'My manager thought this might help me sell a few more CDs.'

Pizza delivery to heaven.

'Could you be a little more specific than angel food?'

"This can't be heaven, where's the shops?"

God/Saint Watching Football.

I shopped in the Garden of Eden.

"I should stop buying shoes."

'Personally, I think the cumulous taste more cotton candy then marshmallow.'

'He's built the ark...start the el ino project.'

Having shopped until she dropped, Kathy finally finds the PERFECT card.

Own a little piece of heaven.

"The truth is, I really can't stand world music!"

A man gets through the pearly gates with an E-Z Pass.

'Put it in writing!'

'We got a real deal on some old hula hoops.'

Angel putting into his halo.

"I hate to break this to you, but we're all vegetarians."

Time to go high tech

'I must warn you, Mr. Smith, you'll have to do all your investing on the internet. There's a big shortage of financial advisors up here.'

"Oh, that's what those are for!"