Celestial Marketer Gifts

'My manager thought this might help me sell a few more CDs.'

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

'The good news is we've discovered a vast new oil resource. The bad news is we need a space ship to get there.'

"...and for today only, you'll get 10% off all tithing!"

'Looks like somebody needs to lay off of the authentic angel food cake!'

Halo Frisbee.

'Stocks plummeted on news of your demise.'

Angel wears t-shirt with logo: YOLO.

An amplified harp

"Because of the economic situation they've relaxed the rules."

"This is neither Heaven nor Hell. It's the private sector."

"Would you have a moment to take a short survey about your experience?"

"Who knew we'd be a desirable demographic?"

"Whoa! Now I remember. This was one of the possible side effects on the label."

"I still maintain an online presence."

'Boy, that felt good! I can see why the devil has so much fun. And no, I'm not letting you in! But tell him I said hello.'

"Let there be light hors d'oeuvres."

Waiting for host to start the meeting.

'Oh, sure -- but He won't let US have pets!'

"Where should we target our advertising dollars? "Hold on, I'm checking my website."

'Anything good on tonight?'

'Do you have a few minutes to discuss your retirement years, sir?'

"Psst! I got mantras. You need a mantra? Mantras right here..."

'Your North Pole is wobbling - you should see a spin doctor.'

'I've been to seventh heaven many times, but this is my first experience with the real thing.'

'How do you expect to play Canasta when you left your brain to science?'

"No, not there! It'll block out all our light!"

"Attendance is way down. He's just trying to jazz up the place..."

'Thirty-two feet per second squared, eh? -- that should hold them for awhile!:

"Just be happy you're getting in, worry about your hair later."

"Well, to be honest, I try to avoid reunions - my first four husbands are here."

....Today the new economic forecasts get published...and that means we have to work overtime...sorry.