Angelic Marketers Gifts

"Attendance is way down. He's just trying to jazz up the place..."

"...and for today only, you'll get 10% off all tithing!"

'Stocks plummeted on news of your demise.'

'One really nice thing up here is that it's always very easy to get an audience with a Pope.'

"I was a primary school teacher. What did you do?"

"Because of the economic situation they've relaxed the rules."

Angel playing music

"Whoa! Now I remember. This was one of the possible side effects on the label."

"The last thing I remember was asking my broker if all my money had been in risk-free bonds."

"Who knew we'd be a desirable demographic?"

'No, please, go on. It's so refreshing to talk to someone with an entirely different point of view.'

"This is Heaven, you idiot. Everything's perfect. There is no suggestion box."

Supply was out of harps.

"I think it's the company logo."

'Don't sweat it - We grade on the curve.'

'Please hold for an eternity...'

'Eternity isn't bad, so long as they allow us to day-trade.'

'He made it big in the athlete prayer industry.'

"It has yet to turn a profit."

"It's very nice. I just think they could add a spa."

"I can't hit a bad note to save my soul!"

And on the Seventh Day...

Death of the pope.

Basketball Halo

"I miss fine stores everywhere."

'Wow... Here comes 'Holy' Andy Jones, king of headers!'

'Management says we've had it too good for too long. They're demanding concessions.'

'Well of course I believed, but I never really thought it was true.'

'I realize this might be carping but I never did live long enough to enjoy my IRA account.'

Ad Meeting With God.

'I would have taken it with me but the Inland Revenue got it all before I left.'

Demon sticking his tail through female angel's halo