Angelic Marketers Gifts

"Attendance is way down. He's just trying to jazz up the place..."

"...and for today only, you'll get 10% off all tithing!"

'Stocks plummeted on news of your demise.'

'One really nice thing up here is that it's always very easy to get an audience with a Pope.'

"I was a primary school teacher. What did you do?"

"Because of the economic situation they've relaxed the rules."

Angel playing music

"The last thing I remember was asking my broker if all my money had been in risk-free bonds."

"Who knew we'd be a desirable demographic?"

"Whoa! Now I remember. This was one of the possible side effects on the label."

'No, please, go on. It's so refreshing to talk to someone with an entirely different point of view.'

"This is Heaven, you idiot. Everything's perfect. There is no suggestion box."

Supply was out of harps.

'Whoa Hold up, You need to get you hand stamped,'

"If it isn't E mc2!"

"I think it's the company logo."

'Don't sweat it - We grade on the curve.'

'Please hold for an eternity...'

'He made it big in the athlete prayer industry.'

'Eternity isn't bad, so long as they allow us to day-trade.'

"It has yet to turn a profit."

"It's very nice. I just think they could add a spa."

"I can't hit a bad note to save my soul!"

And on the Seventh Day...

Death of the pope.

"Sin tax? I love it."

Basketball Halo

'Management says we've had it too good for too long. They're demanding concessions.'

'Wow... Here comes 'Holy' Andy Jones, king of headers!'

"I miss fine stores everywhere."

'Well of course I believed, but I never really thought it was true.'

Ad Meeting With God.

'I realize this might be carping but I never did live long enough to enjoy my IRA account.'

'Well, what do you think of the new BOOYA halo?'

'I see my wife made it in.'