Angelic Economist Gifts

'Stocks plummeted on news of your demise.'

'One really nice thing up here is that it's always very easy to get an audience with a Pope.'

"Lucky for you, you died during a bear market."

"This 'laying up treasures in heaven' thing - Is it some kind of tax dodge or what?"

"Because of the economic situation they've relaxed the rules."

"The last thing I remember was asking my broker if all my money had been in risk-free bonds."

"Whoa! Now I remember. This was one of the possible side effects on the label."

'No, please, go on. It's so refreshing to talk to someone with an entirely different point of view.'

"This is Heaven, you idiot. Everything's perfect. There is no suggestion box."

'Whoa Hold up, You need to get you hand stamped,'

"If it isn't E mc2!"

"Attendance is way down. He's just trying to jazz up the place..."

"Well. . . the cost of living was getting too high, so. . ."

'Don't sweat it - We grade on the curve.'

'Please hold for an eternity...'

'He made it big in the athlete prayer industry.'

'I'm new up here...where are the men?'

'Eternity isn't bad, so long as they allow us to day-trade.'

"It has yet to turn a profit."

"It's very nice. I just think they could add a spa."

"Sin tax? I love it."

Death of the pope.

'...and if my taxes are cut, I promise to stimulate the economy.'

'Well of course I believed, but I never really thought it was true.'

'I realize this might be carping but I never did live long enough to enjoy my IRA account.'

Ad Meeting With God.

Sunday sermon: 'Dearly beloved, restore our faith in the almighty dollar.'

Heavenly politics. Campaigns here are different from those down on earth. Saint Peter has a complete file on everybody, so there's total transparency up here. Our debates are friendly and the ads are all positive. And here the incumbent in the highest office always runs unopposed. That's all true, but in one way the camaigns up here are just like the ones on earth. They go on for eternity.

'Intriguing theory, Dr. Kleinherz, but the fact that the Universe is expanding doesn't necessarily mean that God is a capitalist.'

"Just between you and me, the universe would move in much less mysterious ways if the spark plugs and the oil were changed on a half-way regular basis."

'I would have taken it with me but the Inland Revenue got it all before I left.'

"No prizes for guessing who's been sucking up to the boss!"

'He's back! He just couldn't stand the idea of the stock market going up without him.'

'I see my wife made it in.'

'I led a long and happy life. Twenty business cycles.'