Angelic Philosopher Gifts

'I'm new up here...where are the men?'

"Just one more question before I let you in...I can let you in...are you a cat or dog person?"

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"

'Stocks plummeted on news of your demise.'

I know time is an earthly construct, but I still feel sleepy in the afternoons.

'One really nice thing up here is that it's always very easy to get an audience with a Pope.'

"Because of the economic situation they've relaxed the rules."

'The company was quite generous. They gave me a whole day off for the funeral.'

An amplified harp

Heaven

"Whoa! Now I remember. This was one of the possible side effects on the label."

'No, please, go on. It's so refreshing to talk to someone with an entirely different point of view.'

"This is Heaven, you idiot. Everything's perfect. There is no suggestion box."

'let's work with what we've got -- take a few of the more promising apes, and add some extra memory.'

'Whoa Hold up, You need to get you hand stamped,'

"If it isn't E mc2!"

"Say what you like about Hell, at least they have solid floors."

"So much for eternal rest."

'Don't sweat it - We grade on the curve.'

Late Night TV

'Please hold for an eternity...'

'Let's see...yes, there is a wing upgrade for a soul patch.'

"But don't bother making up a schedule for all those projects. I've got all the time in the world now."

"It's very nice. I just think they could add a spa."

'I've always found the stars disappointingly small.'

"I guess they really are permanent."

'Gee, I never expected to find this problem here too!'

'Now THERE'S a friendship I've never quite understood. That's Ludwig van Beethoven on the left, with Harvey Fernquist, the inventor of telephone 'hold' music!'

'But how did you lose your harp?'

'Well of course I believed, but I never really thought it was true.'

Death of the pope.

"Are you sure these comment cards are anonymous?"

"Why corona? I thought they were getting a bit too cocky."

"I loved the good old days, …. 'better dead than red'."