Angelic Ponderer Gifts

'Smoking or non?'

"I loved the good old days, …. 'better dead than red'."

"Somehow I thought we'd be done with all that."

'Now THERE'S a friendship I've never quite understood. That's Ludwig van Beethoven on the left, with Harvey Fernquist, the inventor of telephone 'hold' music!'

Pearly Gates - this whole book is just about you!

'He's never satisfied - Now he says that walking around on soggy clouds gives him arthritis.'

"Apparently somebody's idea of heaven was an ostensible black eye."

"You need a vacation? To where?"

"I'm curious, was it just me... or did we all have dyslexia?"

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

'One really nice thing up here is that it's always very easy to get an audience with a Pope.'

"Hey, Bob. Things haven't been quite the same since Richard Attenborough arrived here, have they?"

I know time is an earthly construct, but I still feel sleepy in the afternoons.

The Vatican's undercover mission to Antarctica, and some endangered penguins.

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"I don't see HIS name on it."

'Scientists agree the universe is expanding - Mendenhall is trying to find out where the financing is coming from.'

'Just one God? - But won't he be outnumbered?'

Jesus wept

'No, please, go on. It's so refreshing to talk to someone with an entirely different point of view.'

"This is Heaven, you idiot. Everything's perfect. There is no suggestion box."

"Well, it certainly explains why everyone's so nice!"

'What do they mean 'is borer a beast of the field'?'

Eve makes a discovery with far reaching ramifications. Our star signs aren't compatible.

'Whoa Hold up, You need to get you hand stamped,'

Evolution of God. . .

'Osgood was a theologian back on Earth, and he thought all this stuff would be allegorical.'

"And God said, 'Let there be light.'" "CFL, incandescent or LED?"

"If it isn't E mc2!"

'I know we're laying up treasures in Heaven, but I still think you should talk to the Church Board about your pension,'

"I'll have whatever they're having."

No, those were not my last words! I told you you never listened.

'Don't sweat it - We grade on the curve.'

Thomas Aquinas