Angelic Author Gifts

'I'm writing a sequel to my autobiography.'

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"

Halo Frisbee.

'One really nice thing up here is that it's always very easy to get an audience with a Pope.'

"I was a primary school teacher. What did you do?"

"I know, boy—I miss the smoked salmon at Zabar's, too."

"You think it's tough down there?"

Angel playing music

Heaven

An amplified harp

Damn defibrillators.

"Whoa! Now I remember. This was one of the possible side effects on the label."

"This is Heaven, you idiot. Everything's perfect. There is no suggestion box."

Supply was out of harps.

"So much for eternal rest."

"Say what you like about Hell, at least they have solid floors."

'Don't sweat it - We grade on the curve.'

"But don't bother making up a schedule for all those projects. I've got all the time in the world now."

'I'm new up here...where are the men?'

'Please hold for an eternity...'

'Let's see...yes, there is a wing upgrade for a soul patch.'

Smashed harp...

"I can't. You told him he could date after you came here."

Late Night TV

Magazine Stand at the Pearly Gates

Fat angel eating halo like doughnut

"Ready? It's your bloopers tape."

'The Christ Child'

"It's very nice. I just think they could add a spa."

"I can't hit a bad note to save my soul!"

Death of the pope.

Library In Heaven Stocks The Bible And Only The Bible