Celestial Comics Fan Gifts

"I'm not unhappy, just surprised at all the other denominations that are here."

Magazine Stand at the Pearly Gates

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

"Unbelievable! A tick!"

Angel wears t-shirt with logo: YOLO.

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

"Every abductee gets a souvenir mug."

"Sorry, we first have to do a background check."

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

Waiting for host to start the meeting.

"Would you have a moment to take a short survey about your experience?"

'Go right on in, Helen. By the way, be sure to read tomorrow's newspaper - I understand your grandson has drawn a cartoon in your honor.'

"What's so galling is that you don't even realize how Earthist you are."

'Your North Pole is wobbling - you should see a spin doctor.'

"Just be happy you're getting in, worry about your hair later."

Angels Playing Frisbee with a Halo.

'I've been to seventh heaven many times, but this is my first experience with the real thing.'

'Don't sweat it - We grade on the curve.'

'What's the wi-fi like?'

"Hmmm...says here that you were in charge of your church's Puppet Ministry."

Man at Heaven's gate with different college letter than St. Pete

'They come down here to smoke.'

'He made it big in the athlete prayer industry.'

"I can't. You told him he could date after you came here."

'The trouble started when the world put together a large group of synchronized banks.'

"Astronomers say I don't have a 'dark' side. Tell that to my therapist."

....Today the new economic forecasts get published...and that means we have to work overtime...sorry.

"All I'm saying is that you'd sell a lot more if you had Mary on the cover."

'I didn't know I'd need a PIN number!'

'Pretend you don't notice San Andreas.'

"The Lord has heard your prayers and has sent me to say unto you, shut up about it already."

Angel Basketball

"What do you use to relieve the burning and itching of asteroids?"

Hand me the remote...