Celestial Ceo Fan Gifts

"Do you know why the universe works so well? God runs it like a business, that's why."

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

"Unbelievable! A tick!"

"And that little pinpoint of light? That’s our new baby."

"The bagels are better in New York."

'Stocks plummeted on news of your demise.'

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

Paradise FC: The Blessed Y The Rest.

'Go right on in, Helen. By the way, be sure to read tomorrow's newspaper - I understand your grandson has drawn a cartoon in your honor.'

'The good news is you don't have to worry about cholesterol, carbs, or trans fat.'

"I'm not unhappy, just surprised at all the other denominations that are here."

"I'll have whatever they're having."

Angels Playing Frisbee with a Halo.

'What's the wi-fi like?'

The real reason for the hole in the ozone layer.

'The trouble started when the world put together a large group of synchronized banks.'

"Astronomers say I don't have a 'dark' side. Tell that to my therapist."

Magazine Stand at the Pearly Gates

'He made it big in the athlete prayer industry.'

'They come down here to smoke.'

When you celebrate life, so does heaven.

Angel Basketball

"I've been hearing nothing but good things about you."

'Thank you for calling the Pearly Gates.. your prayers are important to us and may be monitored for training purposes.'

"And on the eighth day, God lamented the Hollywood adage 'You're only as good as your last picture.'"

'Don't look at me - I didn't have anything to do with Tunguska!'

Hand me the remote...

"Do you realize how often the Big Dipper comes up in a discussion of the constellations?"

"Two bars—how about you?"

Nativity with the star crashing into the stable.

"Okay, so you're an angel. Now what?"

"Flip you for the top bunk."

'It's a conversation piece.'