Celestial Ceo Fan Pillows

"Do you know why the universe works so well? God runs it like a business, that's why."

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

"Unbelievable! A tick!"

"And that little pinpoint of light? That’s our new baby."

"The bagels are better in New York."

'Stocks plummeted on news of your demise.'

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

Paradise FC: The Blessed Y The Rest.

'Go right on in, Helen. By the way, be sure to read tomorrow's newspaper - I understand your grandson has drawn a cartoon in your honor.'

"I'm not unhappy, just surprised at all the other denominations that are here."

Angels Playing Frisbee with a Halo.

"I'll have whatever they're having."

'The good news is you don't have to worry about cholesterol, carbs, or trans fat.'

'What's the wi-fi like?'

The real reason for the hole in the ozone layer.

"Astronomers say I don't have a 'dark' side. Tell that to my therapist."

'They come down here to smoke.'

'He made it big in the athlete prayer industry.'

Magazine Stand at the Pearly Gates

"The Lord has heard your prayers and has sent me to say unto you, shut up about it already."

'The trouble started when the world put together a large group of synchronized banks.'

When you celebrate life, so does heaven.

Angel Basketball

'Thank you for calling the Pearly Gates.. your prayers are important to us and may be monitored for training purposes.'

"I've been hearing nothing but good things about you."

"And on the eighth day, God lamented the Hollywood adage 'You're only as good as your last picture.'"

I'm afraid of heights.

'Don't look at me - I didn't have anything to do with Tunguska!'

Hand me the remote...

"Do you realize how often the Big Dipper comes up in a discussion of the constellations?"

"Two bars—how about you?"

Nativity with the star crashing into the stable.

"Okay, so you're an angel. Now what?"

'It's a conversation piece.'