Cosmic Investor Gifts

'If the universe is expanding, shouldn't we invest?'

Boptimism

Questions about an old case refuse to go away. . .

"I used to want to be an astronaut, but now I think I'd rather be a billionaire space tourist."

'The good news is we've discovered a vast new oil resource. The bad news is we need a space ship to get there.'

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

"You called me, boss?" "Yes, I overheard you talking to patrons about all the new planets we’ve found." "I want you to stop doing that." "At least until I’m done buying up as much of that real estate as I can. I don’t need any competitors driving up the prices." "Very bad man." "When the hipsters run out of cities to gentrify here, my properties on Gliese 581c are going to make a killing."

"We evolved from asteroids"

"So have you ever stopped to ask yourself: If he really knew the secrets of the universe, would he be living in a damn cave?"

'Stocks plummeted on news of your demise.'

Help! Have to pay back a big world bank loan.

Big Bang For Your Buck Investments...Specializing in space technology.

The lunar landing of Appollo 11 is shown as a hoax filmed in a studio.

"I hear the Universe is expanding - set up a meeting with their people."

'I sure wish there was a formula for picking the right mutual fund!'

'I see you've renamed your portfolios Moe, Larry and Curley.'

"You have $3,098 in the bank? I'm impressed! So...do you think about investing it?"

Scientist drinking night sky through telescope

Coming Soon! Taco Sphere

'I invest in emerging markets.'

'I don't know - asceticism just doesn't seem like ENOUGH any more,'

'Houston, we have a problem.'

Portrait of Sigmund Freud

Branson space shot

"Yes, but can your philosophical speculations on existence also be relative to why I crossed the road?"

'If we have everlasting life, what about entropy?'

'The U.S. Treasury announced today that the federal deficit will no longer be measured in 'trillions' of dollars, but in 'light-years'.'

'Good news! The stock market is about to explode upwards on...'

"I'd like to explore the futures market."

TPP

'Bill, we've decided to increase your sales territory.'

"Hurry it up, Solomon Brothers are waiting for my decision"

Invested pot of gold in the stock market.

Investment firm: National division/International Division/Universal Division.

"I don't know what it is, but it's big and I'm putting it on ebay!"