Celestial Porch Humorist Gifts

"Another near-death experience."

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"Good game."

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

"Abduction 101, when abducting eggs from a primitive planet always lower the temperature in the ship!"

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

God Sneezes Out Creation

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

"I'm just glad we got out before interest rates went up again."

At the 2021 Religious Games

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

'I don't know which was prettier - the meteor shower or the cascade of flaming space junk.'

'She barely made it out of the atmosphere... next!'

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

'You've orbited the Earth in a NASA spacecraft! Wow! Me, I've jumped over the Moon...'

"Unbelievable! A tick!"

Clown God

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

Man at penthouse party walks out onto terrace and is startled to see the Earth, instead of the moon, shining in the sky.

Water is discovered on the moon....

'I'm told you've been born again, again and again. . . ?'

'Looks like somebody needs to lay off of the authentic angel food cake!'

'It's all done with computer animation now.'

Guru.

"And where do you see yourself in the next 7-8 billion years?"

Halo Frisbee.

"I'm so sorry I let you talk me into letting you take your pet along on this trip!"

"Seriously, I used to be the staff of a guy named Moses, man the stories I could tell..."