Celestial Fixer Gifts

Pearly Gates DIY.

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

'I am willing to concede that the company has been underperforming of late...'

C'mon, it'll be fun! I'll throw on some stars, pop in a few planets, drum up a life form or two, and this place will be hoppin'! The Big Shebang Theory.

'Before you come with me, tell me...does this robe look a little rumpled to you? I don't think the dry cleaners got the creases out, do you?'

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

"Whoa. There's a huge crack down here." "Tell me about it."

Delivering red ink to the Berueu of Management and Budget.

Enlightened Cursing

"We probably need to rethink our revenue strategy for the practice."

A man sews broken hearts back together.

'Melvin, you're trying my patience.'

"It got so bad that had to bring Jones in to turn things around."

"Post-holiday dieting will be much easier this year. Our disposable cash flow will be diverted."

'Let me tell you why I'm here...'

"There's no point in our being friends if you won't let me fix you."

"Well there it is in black and white gentlemen, we're in the red."

"Get back here and clean out your desk."

A woman repairs a broken heart.

Son? We need to talk about inappropriate life choices. I was joking. I'm not going to be an investment banker. Great! I'd hate to see you waste your talents. There are plenty of other jobs. Like the fixer who disappears famous athletes' awkward e-mails. You'll always be employed.

"It's time to break up the company!!"

'Agreed then? Your boy takes a dive in the fifth...'

"Kick the machine"

"Dad, I'll assemble yours if you assemble mine."

'Hello, Biggo Farm Equipment? How much longer is it going to take to get my manure spreader fixed?'

"You've come to the right lawyer. I not only do divorces, I also specialise in bankruptcy proceedings."

'They can be a real menace at this time of year.'

"Tell Santa that Rudolph's check engine light is on."

'You've done a fine job throwing money at problems, Senator, but I think it's time to bring in a reliever.'

"The problem with our marriage is that we can't afford marriage counselling."

'My cash flow? It flows right out of my hands to my creditors.'

Celestial reading lamp.

11 Ways To Avoid Chapter 11.

"If the board cuts our budget any more, I'm going to have to start stealing the kids' lunch money."