Crafty Fixer Gifts

'Can Dad fix whatever this was?'

boy plugging leak in a barrel with his finger

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

MacGyver's Cat: 'You see, I took your bed and two paper clips and made it my bed.'

'Before you come with me, tell me...does this robe look a little rumpled to you? I don't think the dry cleaners got the creases out, do you?'

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

Unable to afford scaffolding, Dave ties plungers on his feet to get up a wall.

"Whoa. There's a huge crack down here." "Tell me about it."

'Are you sure you brought the right flat pack?'

Enlightened Cursing

'And now, concerning the special collection...'

Home Business - Printer Ink.

Son? We need to talk about inappropriate life choices. I was joking. I'm not going to be an investment banker. Great! I'd hate to see you waste your talents. There are plenty of other jobs. Like the fixer who disappears famous athletes' awkward e-mails. You'll always be employed.

"Now just open wide and relax. Uncle Fred has told me he has a way to fix your braces faster and cheaper than that overpriced orthodontist."

"Kick the machine"

God's lil' fix-it shop.

'Dad, I didn't know you were into sculpture.'

Power and the Glory tools

"Dad, I'll assemble yours if you assemble mine."

'They can be a real menace at this time of year.'

"Tell Santa that Rudolph's check engine light is on."

'I built the patio out of old newspapers.'

Cardiology

'It's our last resort.'

Hospital. Emergency. Closed. I'm bleeding and the E.R. is closed, What should I do? Just go home? Suture self!

"That's really great , but what do you do if you want to remove the nail?"

"So a plumber charges $600 for 45 minutes' work?! Is that the coolest job or what?!"

'I guess it's official now. No one in this town actually makes anything anymore.'

The maintaining different types of fence.

"Did you call someone to come test for margarine residue in the refrigerator?"

Despite being dumped by his girlfriend on Christmas Eve, Norman still found a way to pull the crackers despite her absence.

Ed uses comb-overs on his bald spots.

"Is it 'pearl one knit one'...or 'knit one pearl one' I always forget!"

Boss, someone called The Fixer is here to see you. Excellent. Go out and tell him I want him to teach you everything he knows. I don't see why I should have to keep paying him when I've got my very own minion. Pay extra attention to the issue vague threats to shut down lawsuits part. If he asks why I didn't fire him myself, you tell him I've moved to Botswana. Very bad man.

Stitches.