Celebrity Sightseer Gifts

"George Clooney, was here last week and he was kind enough to pose for a quick photo with me."

Maps to talk-show guests' homes.

""Baldo, I need to talk to your tia. She wants to stand in line at the supermarket to see some telenovela star."

News and Magazines. Celebrity gossip. Sports scandals. Political bickering. We're out of the "information age" and well into the "too much information age"!

'It's not for myself, you understand."

Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup? A scene from an Esther Williams movie.

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

'-Not THE Queen Vic?'

'I'm not taking that money to buy drugs. I'm taking it to pay bribes if I'm caught with my drugs.'

Young boy thinks he's spotted an old rocker.

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous

John Barth wrote "Everyone is necessarily the hero of his own life story." That he did, little buddy. But what if a person spends most of his life watching tv, films, Youtube, Instagram, Facebook, etc? What if my -- I mean, this person's -- life story is watching other people's life stories? Does that make other people the hero of this person's story? Sometimes I don't know where I end and Kanye begins. That'd be somewhere around Kim Kardashian.

"I'm not an Antony Gormley, I am Antony Gormley."

'Get me public relations!'

'I don't know about you, Clyde, but I'm getting a mighty uneasy feeling we could be riding straight into an ambush interview!'

Wayne and Kerry created a joint name like their idols Brangelina and Tomkat.

"I was at a party with SO many famous people, I was the only one there I'd never heard of..!"

Tom Cruise

"And remember, people, it's better to light a scandal than to curse the darkness!"

The Acme Agency: "Dedicated to Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Media Exposure."

'It's very exclusive - if you bump into a celebrity you get a full refund.'

Polar Bear Paparazzi.

Kathryn Morris

Restraining orders from the stars.

"If small stars keep planets in line, what do big stars do?"

'Actually,no. It isn't okay to have a little chat and sign a few autographs!'

"Should I as for an autograph? The cow's famous. It was in a Far Side cartoon."

Gossip columns: 'And rumour has it that singer, Kelli B is said to be in shock after finding out longtime boyfriend, actor Todd Korfull, has been having an affair with, now get this, KELLI'S agent!! YEEOUCH!...' A column talking

Maps of the Human Genome

'I want to be a professional Polo player too when I grow up...Can I have your autograph please?'

Paul McCartney

Fan club

"Five minutes, General."

'Hey, isn't that that bloke off the telly?'

Hollywood cafe: celebrity in the house!