Celebrity Gazer Gifts

'Can you see anything in her? I certainly can't.'

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

News and Magazines. Celebrity gossip. Sports scandals. Political bickering. We're out of the "information age" and well into the "too much information age"!

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup? A scene from an Esther Williams movie.

Jack Gleeson

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

Reese Witherspoon

Bryan Ferry

"Yoo-hoo. Fifteen minutes of fame is about to start."

The Life and Times of Miley Cyrus

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

"This number goes out to all the little people I met on my way back down."

"Here's the deal, boys. We need to see a little more bickering. We're doing a Reality Show."

"Snow White swears by these 10 products for flawless beauty."

Tom Hanks

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

Vanna White: The Later Years.

"This is no time for fightin', princess, there's a war on!"

'I'm not taking that money to buy drugs. I'm taking it to pay bribes if I'm caught with my drugs.'

Michael Jackson - Mission fulfilled.

'For the actress who benefitted most by rehab...'

'Don't ask questions, Ralph, just tell me who you'd rather look like - Sean Connery or Robert Redford.'

George Clooney Machine

Danae's Celebrity Career: 'Don't you know who I am?...I've decided to pursue a career as a celebrity, so I'm developing the basic language skills used in the industry.'

Elton John

Bill hits the ground running, makes a big splash early on, and rides a roller-coaster of insane popularity right into the "Where Are They Now?" Wilderness of Forgotten Celebrities.

"What are you doing?"

"My spokesperson won't speak to me."

"Maps to stars' rehab centers."

Meet Santa's entourage

"Is Madonna amazing or what? She sings, dances, and acts, and now it turns out she's a writer, too."