Celebrity Watchers Gifts

'...and that concludes this episode of celebrity talk. Now back to your humdrum lives.'

'That's it! No more cameras in the courtroom!'

'... And the award for 'most fervent booty-shaking in a music video' goes to...'

'Even widescreen struggles to fit them in.'

"Accepting for..."

BILL & YADDA-YADDA GATES foundation

Jonas Brothers

'Celebrity shopping please ignore.'

'Nothing about my new hair-do, yet you were first to notice the pimple on the bridge of her nose had gone!'

Piers Morgan vs Anderson Cooper

"Yes - we offer complete privacy. We are 3 billion miles from earth. . .Just get a double room ready for Meghan and Harry."

"I think he was a celebrity."

Reese Witherspoon

The americanisation of vulture.

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

"Yoo-hoo. Fifteen minutes of fame is about to start."

"Springtime in New York. Ah, to be young, in love, and probably making two hundred and seventy-five thousand a year."

"Passengers, as we begin our descent, you may now suddenly act open and friendly to the person beside you."

"This is no time for fightin', princess, there's a war on!"

'For the actress who benefitted most by rehab...'

What should we do this fine Sunday? I have an idea. Let's spend the day staring at each other and using pet names. Ahem. You affection is making us ill! They're upset, Monkey Bear. You're so handsome. We're trying to eat!

"Maps to stars' rehab centers."

Elton John

Meet Santa's entourage

"What are you doing?"

'I don't know about you, Clyde, but I'm getting a mighty uneasy feeling we could be riding straight into an ambush interview!'

'Burke's B-list celebrities.'

Celebrity Gavin Henson

"Once again, the epicenter seems to be Christian Slater."

"This lovely song tells of a young, pretty actress, her ups and downs, and how she found happiness after rehab."

May I have the envelope, please?

"When did you first notice you were larger than life?"

Charlotte Rampling

Sylvester Stallone

Roger McGuinn