Celebrity Sightseer T-Shirts

Maps to talk-show guests' homes.

""Baldo, I need to talk to your tia. She wants to stand in line at the supermarket to see some telenovela star."

'It's not for myself, you understand."

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

'-Not THE Queen Vic?'

Young boy thinks he's spotted an old rocker.

'I'm not taking that money to buy drugs. I'm taking it to pay bribes if I'm caught with my drugs.'

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous

"I'm not an Antony Gormley, I am Antony Gormley."

'Get me public relations!'

"I was at a party with SO many famous people, I was the only one there I'd never heard of..!"

"And remember, people, it's better to light a scandal than to curse the darkness!"

Tom Cruise

The Acme Agency: "Dedicated to Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Media Exposure."

Polar Bear Paparazzi.

Gossip columns: 'And rumour has it that singer, Kelli B is said to be in shock after finding out longtime boyfriend, actor Todd Korfull, has been having an affair with, now get this, KELLI'S agent!! YEEOUCH!...' A column talking

'It's very exclusive - if you bump into a celebrity you get a full refund.'

'Actually,no. It isn't okay to have a little chat and sign a few autographs!'

"If small stars keep planets in line, what do big stars do?"

Restraining orders from the stars.

"Should I as for an autograph? The cow's famous. It was in a Far Side cartoon."

Maps of the Human Genome

'I want to be a professional Polo player too when I grow up...Can I have your autograph please?'

"He loves to give autographs!"

Hollywood cafe: celebrity in the house!

"Five minutes, General."

'Hey, isn't that that bloke off the telly?'

"Don't move - I don't think we're being watched."

"For me it's all about the craft of acting."