Celebrity Snooper Gifts

Rich Cow

'Good news. We're not Daft Punk.'

Young boy thinks he's spotted an old rocker.

'-Not THE Queen Vic?'

John Barth wrote "Everyone is necessarily the hero of his own life story." That he did, little buddy. But what if a person spends most of his life watching tv, films, Youtube, Instagram, Facebook, etc? What if my -- I mean, this person's -- life story is watching other people's life stories? Does that make other people the hero of this person's story? Sometimes I don't know where I end and Kanye begins. That'd be somewhere around Kim Kardashian.

"I'm not an Antony Gormley, I am Antony Gormley."

'I don't know about you, Clyde, but I'm getting a mighty uneasy feeling we could be riding straight into an ambush interview!'

"WIFI, Amazon, credit cards. Pretty much every password is named after me."

Tom Cruise

"I was at a party with SO many famous people, I was the only one there I'd never heard of..!"

"My life must really be boring. I asked the guy why he hacked into my social media and he replied that reading it helps him get to sleep a night."

"And remember, people, it's better to light a scandal than to curse the darkness!"

Wayne and Kerry created a joint name like their idols Brangelina and Tomkat.

"If small stars keep planets in line, what do big stars do?"

Gossip columns: 'And rumour has it that singer, Kelli B is said to be in shock after finding out longtime boyfriend, actor Todd Korfull, has been having an affair with, now get this, KELLI'S agent!! YEEOUCH!...' A column talking

Kathryn Morris

"Should I as for an autograph? The cow's famous. It was in a Far Side cartoon."

'It's very exclusive - if you bump into a celebrity you get a full refund.'

Polar Bear Paparazzi.

Maps of the Human Genome

Sunny and Chair

"For me it's all about the craft of acting."

"He loves to give autographs!"

Hollywood cafe: celebrity in the house!

Fan club

"Take us to your most influential power couple."

'Hey, isn't that that bloke off the telly?'

"Don't move - I don't think we're being watched."

"Oh, Herb. Not Another Open Letter To Miley Cyrus."

How long have you let this unhealthy obsession with family and friends interfere with your celebrity-watching?

Paul McCartney

"Both the movie and I will be released this summer."

"Are you expecting someone, Caroline?"

"I'm very proud. Someone I've been stalking has been nominated for an Academy Award."

"Are you anybody?"