Celebrity Fanatics Pillows

I dreamed that my ship finally came in, and Johnny Depp was steering it.

"An appointment? Let's see... She could fit you in before breakfast TV, or after lunch on Radio Two, or between Radio Four afternoon and the Drive Home SHow..."

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

Super Bowl Halftime Show Barbra Streisand reads from her memoir.

"I mean the Saturday Night Live president, not the lousy one."

David Grohl - Foo Fighters

'Don't ask questions, Ralph, just tell me who you'd rather look like - Sean Connery or Robert Redford.'

Hooray for Bollywood!

The 24-Hour Celebrities Doing Something Stupid Channel.

Maps to the homes of guys with friends who know some of the limo drivers of the personal trainers of the stars.

Harriet Walter

'It's one of the candidates for baptism. Wants to know if he can hold the hand that shook Elvis's hand above the water.'

Leo McKern

'I don't know about you, Clyde, but I'm getting a mighty uneasy feeling we could be riding straight into an ambush interview!'

"WIFI, Amazon, credit cards. Pretty much every password is named after me."

'Man, I'm age 21 now and so far, I haven't done anything important. Things can't go on like this or I will have to forget my plan to become rich and famous by writing my autobiography at age 35!'

Viggo Mortensen

CELEBRITY NEWS TEAM"Now here's Frank Sinatra with the weather."

Hollywood or bust!

"You played yourself in your last picture. Everyone found it unconvincing."

Woody Allen

"How is it that Mick Jagger still has the energy to be Mick Jagger, but you're exhausted just from being you?"

Meryl Streep

Dr. Kapuchnik, I notice that you've been quoting Dr. Phil a lot lately. That's because I'm hoping that if he sees me sucking up to him in the comics, he'll bankroll the TV-show proposal I sent to his production company, Gasbag Enterprises.

Pete never wanted the fame that came with being a national symbol...he just thought it was a good way to meet girls.

Dua Lipa caricature

Peter Gabriel

"Kanye's changing his name. I'm thinking he should go by Cra Z."

"Alright be cool. We're just gonna ask for an autograph and be on our way."

"I'm afraid that's a wrap for this session!"

Arnold Schwarzenneger caricature.

Principal about Justin Bieber Junior High school: 'I was against letting the students name the school.'

Rachel Anne McAdams caricature

Emma Watson