Famous People Fanatic Pillows

"You'd have thought they'd have all slept with each other by now."

"Unfortunately, once the child contracts Pokémon, he lives with it forever."

"So, what did you do at charter school today?"

Jack Gleeson

"Harry Potter and the People Who Care Way Too Much About Harry Potter"

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

There is nothing more satisfying that peeling the film off a brand new building.

Science fiction fans on other planets

"Hold on, that's my Mom dressed up like 'Xena, Princess Warrior'....real mature, Mom!"

Super Bowl Halftime Show Barbra Streisand reads from her memoir.

"Everybody on the bus today was played by Anthony Hopkins."

'It's one of the candidates for baptism. Wants to know if he can hold the hand that shook Elvis's hand above the water.'

The 24-Hour Celebrities Doing Something Stupid Channel.

"You're not a real fan. You're just dressed up like a slut for attention."

Psychiatrist with bust of Freud

Maps to the homes of guys with friends who know some of the limo drivers of the personal trainers of the stars.

The good news is that I've got all the figures...the BAD news is that I'm not sure what order to put them in!

'Oi! Man is not a political animal in here!'

"I may have wasted my life, but at least I don't look stupid."

People leave joke shop with false moustache, nose and glasses marketed as 'the Robert Winston'.

The first microscope capable of seeing the number of angels dancing on the head of a pin.

Dr. Kapuchnik, I notice that you've been quoting Dr. Phil a lot lately. That's because I'm hoping that if he sees me sucking up to him in the comics, he'll bankroll the TV-show proposal I sent to his production company, Gasbag Enterprises.

"Depressed, anxious, worried about the future we've had a great deal of this recently...I'd suggest you avoid watching England for a while."

Sales

"An appointment? Let's see... She could fit you in before breakfast TV, or after lunch on Radio Two, or between Radio Four afternoon and the Drive Home SHow..."

Pile of books for sale with sign: Expired Fifteen-Minutes-of-Fame Books.

Lazy man contemplates the moment of creation.

Pete never wanted the fame that came with being a national symbol...he just thought it was a good way to meet girls.

Digital TV presents "It's true there really is a channel for everyone"

Some moss pounces on a rolling stone.

"Those who can can, dance."

"Is there a God?"

'Tsk...woolly thinking again.'

"Chills, Randy. I feel chills. And I can't move." "And I can't remember the last time my palms were this sweaty." "This must've been what people felt like when they heard the Allies were finally invading Normandy on D-Day." "No way any movie can live up to this hype." "Wolverine day is almost upon us." "We are about to embark upon the great crusade..."

Otto von Bismarck