Famous Faces Fanatic Pillows

People leave joke shop with false moustache, nose and glasses marketed as 'the Robert Winston'.

Prize vegetables.

"Unfortunately, once the child contracts Pokémon, he lives with it forever."

"Harry Potter and the People Who Care Way Too Much About Harry Potter"

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

Science fiction fans on other planets

"You're not a real fan. You're just dressed up like a slut for attention."

The good news is that I've got all the figures...the BAD news is that I'm not sure what order to put them in!

"You can get good cards but still have terrible luck."

Sales

"Depressed, anxious, worried about the future we've had a great deal of this recently...I'd suggest you avoid watching England for a while."

"An appointment? Let's see... She could fit you in before breakfast TV, or after lunch on Radio Two, or between Radio Four afternoon and the Drive Home SHow..."

"I asked a designer to come in and give the office a needed pick-me-up...probably should have been a little more specific."

A Friend in Need.

Street painter puts real face on man with happy face.

Flo was mortified when she discovered that her web cam was broadcasting when she was testing out possible new looks.

"Chills, Randy. I feel chills. And I can't move." "And I can't remember the last time my palms were this sweaty." "This must've been what people felt like when they heard the Allies were finally invading Normandy on D-Day." "No way any movie can live up to this hype." "Wolverine day is almost upon us." "We are about to embark upon the great crusade..."

'Creamed beets freak me out.'

"Apricot pit?! Are you kidding, Mister? This stuff knocks raw avocado and almond nut outta the water!!!"

"It's a deal. Help me find the acorns I buried and I'll help you find your bones."

"Do you think my followers will mind of 'Martin's Theory of Everything' ends after just three installments?"

'Your mum says it's okay for you to sleep over in my pouch.'

'For heaven's sake, Armitage... Can't you just accept 2nd place in the best leek category??'

"Don't leave me dangling!"

Celebrity Books.

"Meet JD Salinger's neighbors"

'They sat in an etape, playing bezique and swilling skookum saloop.'

"Although a face transplant is theoretically possible you still can't have Brad Pitt's."

"I can guarantee it's the latest thing...until the next thing arrives."

Ron Perlman